Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts

Systemic racism and hatred must be eradicated

 

Violence, injustice, and inequality are not the values that any responsible nation (includes individuals); that claim to value its citizens (fellow human beings) and that visitors (strangers – “I was a stranger and you let me in”) are welcome, that shelters and protects those who are downtrodden; would ever want to adhere to. Borders should be considered as mere lines on a map, not an impenetrable wall patrolled by militarized and bloodthirsty guards. It is a crime against humanity to separate children from their parents and place them in concentration camps with appalling conditions. Often, they are dished out as slaves or toys for those who indulge in despicable, dehumanizing and cruel fantasies.
ALL OF HUMANITY SHOULD BE UNIVERSLY RESPECTED AND HONORED. No world leader should ignore those who are impoverished in their respective countries.
Everybody who approaches a border crossing should be welcomed with a smile and a hearty handshake into their culture (as they do at a hotel check in). Of course, those who are confirmed to be (after a thorough background check) a risk or have been convicted of a felony, should be turned away and/or handed to authorities in the country they are coming from. These cases must be handled fairly and without prejudice. Suffice it to say, we must fight to uphold the ideals that define who we are. Everyone should be free to travel without restrictions, in total security and an exhilarating sense of being openly welcomed. You return home with a desire to come back, not with a bad taste in your mouth as if you just had a terrible cup of coffee filled to the brim.
I stand for justice and equality for all of humanity. We are all equal but diverse. We should all be responsible for each other’s welfare to the best of our abilities (especially during critical and difficult times). We have all been weaved together from the same cloth and imbued with the same spirit. IT PAINS ME TO SEE SO MUCH SUFFERING, DIVISION, INEQUALITY AND EXPLOITATION STILL RAMPANT IN THE WORLD TODAY!
Unity empowers and diversity brings out the beauty in all that we are. It should be shared, not destroyed through oppression, suppression and intimidation. We need to build bridges between cultures, not walls that isolate us from each other. All of us must commit to dismantling systemic racism and injustice. Hatred and racial violence must be eradicated, once and for all. After all, we have been assembled from the same basic elements. The true nature of a man/woman is what makes up his/her character, not what we see on the surface. Your real wealth and mine is what’s in our hearts, our integrity and the level of respect and love we have for others, not what we have in our bank accounts, investments and possessions.
We must take to the streets and post on our social platforms and blogs, to raise our voices and strongly demand that law enforcement respects its duty to protect and to serve. If there is a risk of harm, it should not be tolerated – zero tolerance. SAFETY SHOULD BE OUR #1 CONCERN.
We all share the responsibility to fight racial, social and cultural injustice. Brutality from those who are in law enforcement must end NOW! Those who engage in such behavior should be held accountable. It is a crime. DO YOUR JOB – PROTECT CIVILIANS! Even if the risk of being harmed is low. Emotional disturbance should be considered, not just physical injury.
 
“Meanwhile, at a time when a president should be bringing the country together to help heal our communities and fight to enact peaceful, meaningful change, Donald Trump has done nothing but fan the flames of hatred and violence. He has demonstrated a failure of leadership at his best moments and an abhorrent abuse of military power at his most repulsive. His actions are what you’d expect from a two-bit dictator, not the President of the United States.”
Richard Blumenthal June 3rd, 2020
A leader’s primary responsibility is to ensure that his constituents are taken care of first. His position is not to be for his own personal gain.
 
“Every American, regardless of color, deserves the right to live freely and make their voice heard without violent backlash and retaliation.”
Congresswoman Joyce Beatty
Editor’s note: “Every American, regardless of color…” could be modified to read “Every man, woman and child, regardless of race, culture, creed, sex, opinion (reasonable, common sense and based on fact not fiction) expressed with love and understanding…” I.E. “Agree to disagree.” And “Have a friendly debate.”
 
Examples include:
Prejudice, xenophobia, internalized oppression and privilege, and beliefs about race influenced by the dominant culture.

A Message to Humanity

As of November 1st, 2020, many countries are experiencing an uptick of new cases of COVID-19 on a daily basis. Many governments have had to reinstate restrictions, mandate wearing masks and social distancing. There is still a lack of resources in many countries (ex. Brazil, Mexico). Humanity needs to approach this globally and needs to develop a universal plan to combat this apocalyptic crisis. Unfortunately, there is currently too much division (even within nations – U.S.A.). There is also a lot of misinformation, lies and conflicting approaches with regards to this profoundly serious and game changing crisis. Noncompliance is rampant. Many individuals show hostility and often ridicule those who do comply. They consider good to be evil and evil to be good. Death threats against health experts and responsible leaders has become the new norm.

The ideal would be to establish a world body consisting of experts in epidemiology, virology, etcetera, and they should be given the power to not only implement but to strictly enforce appropriate measures necessary to protect everyone as much as possible. Economists and businessmen would also be required to ensure that everyone is sheltered, fed and given the basic necessities to survive, regardless of the length of duration of the crisis. Anyone who doesn't comply (no exceptions) will be guilty of crimes against humanity. All of humanity would be treated equally – no special status and no ulterior motives, with fairness for the sake of all. Transparency and integrity at all times.

This is too serious – only 100% cooperation among all of humanity can save us now. It is not a ‘suggestions or a matter of opinion’. It shows respect for life in general and that we care deeply for humanity and our planet Earth. Life is more important than the economy. We can always rebuild after this is over and the way it looks now with everyone doing what is "right in their own eyes", this will only result in death, chaos and bitter rivalries – we must all become one global entity in order to defeat this unseen enemy. The fate of all mankind must be taken out of the hands of fools and put into the hands of those who have the know-how, the wisdom and are willing to act for the good of others, not to aggrandize themselves at their expense. Love, understanding and empathy not intolerance, hatred, deceptions, oppression, and exploitation. Tear down the walls that divide us and replace them with bridges that unite.

But can we achieve this ideal soon enough for humanity to survive this unprecedented crisis and return to the ‘normality’ we had before COVID-19? Can the damage be repaired? Will the World be “One for all and all for one”? Can humanity learn valuable lessons from this and be prepared for the next one? Will humanity vanquish crisis caused by greed, hatred, exploitation, etcetera?

I feel that we have little hope that humanity will survive this apocalyptic crisis and also return to exactly the way it was before. I base this thought on the appalling behavior of many individuals who are out and about, as I leave home to support a friend, honor an appointment or to pickup necessities. Not only do they ignore measures set in place to avoid and contain the pandemic, but they also often respond violently and accuse those who comply or enforce of “taking away their liberty to do whatever they please.” True liberty includes the responsibility of protecting and not hurting others around us. That is why we have laws – traffic, criminal, procedural, proper maintenance. These Laws are not just suggestions. They are meant to ensure that we can go about our day-to-day activities with 100% assurance that we are protected by those responsible and duty bound to enforce the laws of the land. Not only enforce, they must also teach the general populace the importance of compliance. Noncompliance can lead to fatal consequences and unnecessary suffering. This is true during any hardships suffered, not only in a pandemic. As I previously stated, “there is no excuse.” Safety measures are the only way to stay healthy. From what I have observed – it is not a problem to wash your hands, wear a mask in public (even outside) and maintain a social distance of at least 2m (6ft). More if you can. Ask yourself: What is more important? Momentary comfort or your’s and the other individual’s health and safety?

 If you see that there could be a problem: turn away and, if possible, take a different route. Be vigilant at all times, calculate the risk factor and err on the side of caution. If you happen to be stuck in a risky situation (at times this can happen – it has happened too many times for me) hope and pray that it is not the fatal bullet in this dangerous and extremely deadly global game of Russian Roulette.

As to what society will look like after, only time will tell. In every critical moment, there is always a remnant that survives. Hopefully, those who fortunately survive will have learned lessons due to their experience during COVID-19 and pass them on to their descendants. 

Caniba: an Infuriating and Disgusting Case of Injustice




This fresco-like documentary is a very disturbing portraiture of the reality of cannibalism among humans as seen through the eyes of Issei Sagawa (Born: 1949, Kobe, Hyōgo Prefecture, Japan). The filmmakers interview him along with his brother Jun.

In 1977, Sagawa immigrated to Paris, France in order to pursue a Ph.D. in literature at the Sorbonne. By 1981, he had developed a close friendship with 25-year-old Dutch classmate Renée Hartevelt. On June 11th, 1981 she accepted his invitation for dinner at his apartment. He convinced her on the pretext of assisting him in translating poetry for a school assignment. When her back is turned, he shoots her, then rapes her, and subsequently, cannibalizes her. On the 13th, he is caught red-handed attempting to dump her body in a lake in the Bois de Boulogne. The judge rules insanity. Sagawa is deported back to Japan. The Japanese authorities declare him sane but are unable to prosecute him. Thus he profits while his victim’s family must live and suffer with the loss – an infuriating and disgusting case of injustice.
As well, the apparent attitude of both brothers showed no remorse, shame or regret and in fact Issei seemed proud of what he did and Jun reflected envy. At one point, Jun showed a video of one of his aberrant behaviors and asking Issei if he approved. During the whole film, Issei tended to wallow in self-pity due to his current living conditions and his ill-health. A bit of poetic justice perhaps?
Not a film for the weak-hearted or the overly sensitive. Bound to be controversial, and in my mind, this crime is in the same league as those of Hitler, Stalin, Jack the Ripper and others of that ilk.

Caniba: un Cas d'Injustice Exaspérant et Dégoûtant


Ce documentaire à la fresque est un portrait très inquiétant de la réalité de cannibalisme chez les humains comme on le voit à travers les yeux d’Issei Sagawa (Né: 1949, Kobe, Préfecture d’Hyōgo en Japon). Les cinéastes l'interviewent avec son frère Jun.
En 1977, Sagawa a immigré à Paris, en France, afin de poursuivre un doctorat en littérature à la Sorbonne. En 1981, il avait développé une amitié proche avec sa camarade de classe Néerlandaise de 25 ans, Renée Hartevelt. Le 11 Juin 1981, elle a accepté son invitation à dîner dans son appartement. Il l'a convaincue sous prétexte de l'aider à traduire de la poésie pour un devoir. Quand on lui tourne le dos, il tue d’un coup de feu, la viole, puis la cannibalise. Le 13, il est pris en flagrant délit d'avoir tenté de jeter son corps dans un lac au Bois de Boulogne. Le juge décide la folie. Sagawa est expulsé au Japon. Les autorités Japonais le déclarent sain d'esprit mais ne sont pas en mesure de le poursuivre. Il profite ainsi que la famille de sa victime doit vivre et souffrir avec la perte un cas d'injustice exaspérant et dégoûtant.

De même, l'attitude apparente des deux frères ne montrait aucun remords, aucune honte ou aucun regret et, en fait, Issei semblait fier de ce qu'il a fait et Jun reflétait l'envie. À un moment donné, Jun a montré une vidéo d'un de ses comportements aberrants et a demandé à Issei s'il approuvait. Pendant tout le film, Issei a eu tendance à s'apitoyer sur lui-même en raison de ses conditions de vie actuelles et de sa mauvaise santé. Un peu de justice poétique peut-être?
Pas un film pour les faibles d'esprit ou les trop sensibles. Surement d’être controversé, et dans mon esprit, ce crime est dans la même ligue que ceux d'Hitler, de Staline, de Jack l'Éventreur et d'autres de ce genre.
This film was presented during the 20th edition of RIDM in collaboration with Fantasia.
Ce film a été présenté lors de la 20ème édition du RIDM en collaboration avec Fantasia.

Siblings Can Hurt You Over and Over Again and You Them

A message from Sylvain Richard
I requested permission to publish this piece from the author because this topic on siblings is so important, yet it's ignored. This is a shame. Unfortunately, many suffer with problems related to family. I find the strategies given are helpful and compassionate. The author has outlined key points to consider if/when attempting to remedy this problem which affects so many. Good luck!


 by Nancy Snipper


As a teacher, guidance counselor, sibling and friend, I have learned from over 45 years of experience that this delicate topic is rarely addressed. Yet so many suffer. Time to break down the static silence. Maybe this little essay can help someone who is experiencing “sibling malfunction” (my term).
While obtaining my B.Ed, I researched sibling support and its connection, if any, to familial emotional wholeness. I interviewed over 200 different siblings to discover that 44% feels in some way rejected by their siblings on various levels. This rejection were backed up by examples. 26% were no longer in touch with their siblings, except at weddings and funerals, and even at those times, no communication was achieved. 14% felt this had affected their lives in such a negative way, they sought therapy to deal with it. Let’s not forget that close to 66% enjoyed a close relationship, and for the most part, felt happy and valued when in sibling company.
However, if you have been silently, slowly or in one fell swoop abruptly ostracized by your sibling(s), you are not alone. This is a universal family challenge that knows no cultural, economic or racial boundaries.
So have your siblings either subtly or overtly put estrangement from you into modus operandi?  Wrong for sure, and very hurtful, especially if you have really done nothing wrong to them to the best of your knowledge. You have tried to reach out, but are always being rejected. What the hell is going on?
Let’s face it: the sibling unit can sometimes become a breeding ground for all kinds of unhappiness: jealousy, favouritism, injustice, alliances, mocking you, secrets, power plays, lies and no empathy. No matter how educated you are or no matter how much love and caring you received from your parents, the sibling issue can make become tumultuous – if you let it. It’s sad but it’s human in an intensely negative way.


How to deal with it all?

Some see you as nutty, narcissistic, irresponsible, expendable, and even nasty. Others see you as the “black sheep”. But it’s better to be different if the rest of them are full of anger and mistrust or they constantly exclude or insult you. Count yourself lucky if you know how to love constantly – no matter their inability to return it for whatever reason; for these sibling souls are in torment. Pity them privately, but don’t get roped in.
Love doesn’t seem to figure much effectively or always work with those that don’t put sibling love, patience and pride in having you as their sibling as family priority. Overlook the little things, but don’t skirt any situation if you are being mistreated. Let them know right away when you have been wronged; don’t let it fester for years. By then it is too late to even remember their names.
There are many reasons for growing so far apart – that even the slightest bit of warmth you shared in younger times turns into a cold chill. These reasons have never really been systematically examined and though every case has different reasons, the result is too often: bye bye. KEEP IN TOUCH!!! But if they rebuff your warmth and attempts to stay connected, then you may have to do a reality check. Not everyone is going to have your heart and values.
The most unproductive and cruel scenario is cutting blood ties. And many are too quick to do that.  It’s Neanderthal not to mention ruthless. But if they do it, chances are they wanted to do it a long time ago. Think back at the signs: too busy to see you; not a good time to call or visit, never invite you for a stay-over or if they do, abandon you. Welcome to your demotion as their house sitter. If they don’t reply to your calls and emails, but maybe said they did, don’t second guess yourself unless there was an immediate follow-up on their part. These are indications that they have no interest in your life and do not wish for you to know theirs.
But you say,” What did I do wrong?” Everything and nothing.  But here’s the rub: no more puppy-dog caving. 


Six Solutions that require resolve

1> I highly recommend courses on how to handle siblings' poor treatment of you. There is so much misinterpretation and misconception that sometimes is unwittingly or sadly, purposely applied to you. If undermining you or shutting you out is constant, and you don’t call the person out on it due to your own fear or out of incredible kindness - misguided as it is for these situations - as you are afraid to hurt them – then take a long break, but never ever cut them out. Bring it up with a quip, a brief statement or express your surprise. Dial back and reassess.

2>Remember, kindness is owed to you, but it must come from you as well. Don’t hold any grudge. That’s a cowardly defence. But protecting the other means taking a risk on your own self-worth. So state your disappointment in a clear, calm way.  

3>Be conciliatory if they wish to communicate with you without mutual attacking.  But you must express the wrong doing; let it out and resolve it. You must give yourself permission to call them up on their behaviour if wrong doing to you has been a far too long pattern. Most of us are incredulous to take it in that they really do not want to have anything to do with you or you with them.
The key question is if so many years have passed and silence is the only communication you have, then you must let them know you wish to have them in your life but major issues have to be laid out like a deck of cards to explore and reveal.
Remember that cards have two sides, so you have to let them voice their hurts that they feel you have given them. 

4> It's not easy for sure as we all get defensive, but this is not the time to attack. It is the time to listen and talk it out. If you ask them if they wish to have a relationship that is mature and workable and they start attacking you again or say no, it's sad, but let them know your door is always open. 

 5>Find people that accept your love, communicate well with you and make you feel appreciated; you will love that. And make them the same way from the bottom of your heart! 
Unrequited family love can be as painful as that not given by a potential lover. Lovers can come and go, but siblings are permanent. Personality conflicts are inevitable, but the gift of having siblings is immeasurable. 

6> Don't let the bad stuff overcome you. Who you are and what you give must be valued by you and you must value them. You deserve everything and so do they!  But if bad spirals down to worse with emotionally cruel behaviour being exhibited to you over and over again, walk away! You tried, and that’s what God praises us for, even if we fail.  Sibling caring whether inconvenient or difficult is the highest state of peer family love. Aim for this.

 
BE YOU was a song I wrote in 1977, and to my surprise, it somehow went beyond my room; it was performed at Ontario Place during International Year of the Child. The song came from a quiet place in my heart. I believe its message strikes a chord for those who doubt their own self-worth.
Meg Ruffman’s stunning voice first sung it in a church soon after a man named Cam told me over the phone, to come down to the church, and he would put the lyrics and my rather unsure melody to piano. The two artists teamed up to bring my song to life.
May this song comfort and embolden you.


BE YOU
I have learned that whatever is inside of you,
Let it do whatever it wants to do.
If you’re shy, afraid, crazy or brave,
Be yourself, you’ll be amazed
to see how beautiful you are when you’re true,
Just be you.

I have learned that whatever is inside of you,
Must be said, felt, without a fuss.
Though others may chide you, won’t sit beside you,
Fear you, sneer you, won’t come near you,
Just be yourself, before you know it
You’ve made a friend, plenty of them.

I have learned that whatever is inside of you,
Be proud of it no matter what they say and do.
To rearrange you, try and change you, act like they are strangers to you,
Misconstrue you, mix and brew you, if they only knew the real you.
Just be yourself, let it all come through,
And love will shine in you.